


Fate and Cheeseburgers

by Feitans



Category: X-Men (Movieverse)
Genre: Actor!Erik, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, M/M, Writer!Charles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 13:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8329930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feitans/pseuds/Feitans
Summary: Charles Xavier's first novel, a book about a man recovering from his alcohol and gambling addiction, becomes a best-seller overnight, shooting him into stardom. Erik Lehnsherr's acting career is soaring, with his key role in the legendary 'X-men' comic book series and movie casters dying to get his attention.
One call from Emma Frost is all it takes to unite the two.





	

When his editor told him it’d be horrible if his book got popular enough to get offered movie proposals, he didn’t believe it. After all, isn’t it a novelist’s dream to have their book properly portrayed on the big screen? Sure, it’ll be a whole lot of work to turn his novel into a movie script, but as long as the essence isn’t lost he doesn’t see much of a problem. Hell, he might even be able to get future novels properly published instead of having his editor cash in on some weird favor a certain publishing company CEO owed him. And so, he said he would be open to allowing his book to be turned into a movie on TV.

 

He should’ve listened to his damn editor.

 

+++

 

“For the thousandth time,  _ no _ , I do not want my novel to be turned into a movie if I am not at least the main writer for the script.”

 

Charles resists the urge to smash his phone against the side of the wall and call it a day. Why can’t these production companies understand that he doesn’t want his book to be turned into some stereotypical gay romcom instead of the piece it actually is? He knows that most of his fans like that his main character is bisexual, but the focus of the story is about him getting past his past actions and moving on to become better for himself. It’s a book that’s more about two guys going out, even if it’s in there. If he lets some top-rated hollywood writer get to it, it’ll turn into some mess about his main character falling in love and going into rehab for the sake of his significant other, and that’s just not what his book is about.

 

The current producer coolly responds, “What about co-writer?”

 

The lady on call with him is unusually calm. Or maybe he’s just too used to those guys who start going ballistic over the word no like their arm was shot three times. It doesn’t matter though, because there’s no way in hell he’s going to get suckered into co-writing a script, which is hollywood speak for ‘get some famous director who’ll ignore all your suggestions,’ which will only lead to the producers hearing you whine about said director every day, and by then they’ll have found so loophole to kick you out of the damn movie production all together. 

 

Charles hisses out in frustration. He just wants  _ one  _ day where his phone doesn’t get bombarded by phone calls. One. “How about this. I’ll meet you in person for discussion if you can get Erik Lehnsherr to show up at my house tomorrow with two double cheeseburgers with pickles from In-n-Out. Yes, from fucking California and yes, I know I live in New York. I also want him in a suit. Sharp enough that I can grate some fucking cheese on his ass and see his damn tits sticking out. How about that?”

 

Before the lady can respond, Charles hangs up. He hopes that request was ridiculous enough that she knows she shouldn’t try calling back. And not only is it ridiculous, it’s impossible too. Every fan of Lehnsherr knows he’s been filming some assasin movie for the last month. It’d be easier for her to mind control Charles into agreeing to the contract than get Lehnsherr out of the set.

 

Charles swivels his chair to his table and gets back to work.

 

+++

 

Emma Frost makes one call. That’s all that’s needed.

 

+++

 

Charles’s doorbell rings and he takes a set of deep breaths before even thinking of getting out of his office chair. If it’s some other damn company with a movie offer he’s going to call the cops. Or cave their head in with his fist. The doorbell rings again and Charles figures he can’t ignore it forever. He pushes himself up by his knees and trudges over before the guy presses that cursed button again. He doesn’t even bother looking through the peephole or unchaining the lock before opening the door wide enough to take a peek outside.

 

Holy shit.

 

Charles slams the door shut with as much force as a truck and crumples to the ground. Fucking  _ Erik Lehnsherr  _ is standing at his doorstep and he’s in  _ Magneto pajama pants _ . FUCK! He doesn’t even want to begin with his hair. It looks like every pigeon in New York migrated into it for the winter. He can’t answer the door, let alone speak with  _ the  _ Erik Lehnsherr of his dreams looking like this!

 

“In a minute!” He screeches out as he runs for his room.

 

The last time he’s been this quick on his feet was sophomore year of high school, when he was about to fail P.E because of the mile run. If Charles was about to get laid, he still wouldn’t take off his pants this fast. He thinks he broke the world record for ‘fastest pe-pantsment’. He shoves those damned magneto pajama pants into the depths of his rumpled bedsheets and jams his legs down the first presentable thing he sees within his pile of clean clothes he’ll never fold before rushing back to answer  _ Erik Lehnsherr.  _ He still can’t believe that producer got him to show up to Charles’s house. Half of him wishes she didn’t, because Charles looks like one of those hoarders you see on MTV that end up getting evicted because of the smell of all the complete shit they keep in their house. God he hopes he doesn’t smell. That’d be the end of him. He’ll never write again, he’ll just shrivel up in his bathtub with bath products from lush and fancy scented candles crying about how Erik Lehnsherr said he smells like sewage from Florida in his hot German accent.

 

He breathes hard enough that his sister in England could probably hear him. Let’s hope Lensherr is deaf.

 

Charles opens his door as slow as humanly possible, door creaking the entire time. It sounds like is door fucking farted for six seconds straight. He stutters out, “Y-yes?”

 

“Hello.” Erik Lehnsherr says. 

 

His accent is hotter in person. He’s holding a bag of In-n-Out. Oh. My. Fucking. God.

 

Charles is petrified, his feet gorilla glued to the hardwood floors. His eyes panic back and forth to anything that isn’t  _ Erik Lehnsherr _ ’s face, and land of his crotch. They enjoy the view a moment too long and Charles’s cheeks burst into flame. This has got to qualify as the worst meeting he’s ever done with a celebrity. And he fucking tripped over his own feet trying to shake Beyoncé’s hand. 

 

All Charles can muster up is this: “Is that my In-n-Out?”

 

And somehow, some way, Erik Lehnsherr is grinning. And then he’s shaking with laughter. And then he’s practically collapsing into Charles’s arms, about to burst into a symphony of giggles. Erik actually knocks his head against Charles’s shoulder while trembling in a feeble attempt to stop himself.

 

“Yes, it is. Two double cheeseburgers with pickles.” Erik continues, “And I’m in a suit tight enough you can see my ‘tits sticking out’”.

The dams break and all of Erik’s laugher gushes out of him, drowning Charles’s ears in his happiness. At least he hopes it’s happiness. Oh dear god please be happiness. By the large, rough, calloused hands grabbing at his shoulders, shaking along with Erik’s swelling chest, he thinks he’ll be alright. If only his face would agree with him and stop overheating like Death Valley in the middle of July.

 

Erik finally calms down, after what felt like a millenia. Erik removes his hands from Charles’s shoulders and they instantly slump down in disappointment. He doesn’t even have time to get excited over  _ Erik Lehnsherr  _ putting his hands on his shoulders, because they’re gone and his shoulders are cold and missing ‘em. Charles makes some small grumble of displeasure and Erik gingerly returns them to their previous spot. Charles jumps in surprise.

 

“Huh?” Charles is on the sun, and his cheeks are going to be the first to melt right off him.

 

“You made a sad squeaky noise about shoulders, so I put them back.” The amusement radiating out of Erik’s face cannot be hidden under decades (as in like, two) of acting. “I can’t have you being disappointed after Emma went through the trouble of forcing me to get you cheeseburgers in a suit.”

 

“ _ Double  _ cheeseburgers. With pickles.” Charles grumbles.

 

“Yes yes, I know. I was forced into a private jet by my producer mid-shoot, and the only thing she said to me was ‘don’t eat the in-n-out. They’re for someone.’” Erik casually responds. “May I come in?”

 

Anything for you Lehnsherr. Anything. If you wanted to fuck me against my kitchen counter I’d be stripped down and lubed up before you can blink. “Of course.” If what he goes with instead.

 

He ushers Erik in like the doorman for a hotel and spends a ridiculously long amount of time closing the door. He still can’t believe he just let  _ Erik Lehnsherr  _ into his house. He also can’t believe how much of a fan boy he is, gushing over the man. When he turns around, Erik’s already sinking into his ancient sofa, as comfortable as can be. Charles decides it’s the best for his well being to sit on the recliner and not next to Erik. He might be imagining it, but as he sits down, Erik looks disappointed. Sitting in the recliner though, gives him a much better view of Erik. He’s hot. He could crack an egg on Erik’s thigh and it’ll be perfectly cooked in five seconds. The suit is perfectly tailored to fit Erik’s body too. Which means Charles can practically see every single perfectly shaped bit of muscle on him. Charles hopes that one day, he can put his head against Erik’s glorious chest and just rest there. Then he can die a happy man.

 

Charles is probably drooling by now, staring at Erik like he’s a gourmet dinner ready to be eaten. So of course, Charles forces himself to turn his head and find literally anything else besides the handsome god relaxing on his couch. His eyes catch the bag of In-n-Out, slightly wet from excess oil, and his stomach grumbles. He hasn’t even eaten lunch. Perfect. But how does one eat in front of Erik Lehnsherr? It’ll be so awkward, having the man of your dreams (the kind that involves your hand in your pants) just… sit there and watch you devour two burgers. He’d end up with oil and sauce all over his face, which isn’t exactly ‘first impression’ material.

 

Thankfully, Erik speaks first. “Are you going to eat those? Because I’m hungry.” As if on cue, Erik’s stomach also grumbles. Even his tummy grumbles are charming. 

 

“You can have  _ one _ .” Charles responds, already reaching for the bag.

 

He reaches inside it and finds the burgers are still warm. Huh. Charles inwardly giggles, joking to himself that Erik kept it warm with his smoking hot face. He’s about to hand the first one to Erik, who eagerly holds his hand out, smile on his face, when he pulls it back. Erik frowns. If there is any part of Erik that is not completely endearing he would like to know right now. 

 

Charles sticks his chin up.  “I want the pickles. No debate.”

 

“Fine.” Erik grumbles.

 

Charles smiles wide and tenderly separates their burgers. He flips the top bun and the lettuce off, revealing his precious pickles. Charles begins humming in delight as he moves the slices of pickle from Erik’s burger to his own. After surgery is committed upon these two burgers, Charles puts them back together and hands the one without pickles to Erik. Erik begrudgingly takes it, obviously torn up over his overwhelming loss.

 

They synchronize their first bite, and Charles practically moans into the burger. It’s been forever since he’s had a burger, mostly because before his book became a best-seller he was dirt poor and after he hasn’t had the time for anything besides a phone call for take-out. Both a blessing and a curse. Right now, having Erik eat a cheeseburger in his home because of some joke he made to a movie producer falls pretty deep into the blessing side. He doesn't even care that his house is a giant mess, because he gets to opening gawk at Erik’s stunning features while he’s eating his (sad, pickle less) burger. This is the best day he’s had in weeks.

 

“Why didn’t you ask for fries too?” Erik grunts out mid bite.

 

“Did you actually think I was expecting an angel in a suit to bring me take out from California while they’re off in some part of Europe? I didn’t even think there’d be a burger, so what was the point of adding fries?” Charles snorts, only to realize that he just called Erik an angel.

 

Erik catches it and almost chokes on his food. Charles would be worried if a) his face wasn’t planning to burn down his house, and b) if Erik didn’t put the burger on the bag and collapse onto the floor in a fit of laughter. If the snickering didn’t come in such a beautiful form, he’d be insulted.

 

“What’s so funny?” Charles puffs out, “That I called you an angel? You already know that I like you from the suit, so what now?”

 

Erik gasps for air and Charles is tempted to (gently) kick Erik in the head to make him stop. It’s not like that’d do a lot of damage, it’d hurt more if Charles just made Erik smell his foot. Not like he’d dare hurt his idol since like, college? Senior year high school? He doesn’t really remember. It’s hard to remember when you’ve jerked off to the same man for about a fourth of your life. He doesn’t know whether he should be proud or embarrassed to be this kind of faithful to a celebrity.

 

“Well, most of the time, my fans would say I’m hot because I’m ‘evil’ or ‘uptight’ or ‘a smartass’ or ‘a piece of shit’, not because I’m a precious angel with a beautiful ass and tits for days.” Erik sneers.

 

Charles’s face heats up for the thousandth time this hour and snaps back, “Stop bullying me! Just because you know I admire you (and think you’re hot) doesn’t mean you can tease me about it!”

 

“Don’t worry, I’ve heard worse things than someone wanting to grate cheese on my ass.” Erik continues. “Have you ever been on twitter? All they do there is call me daddy and tell me to shove my hand up their asses. It’s more amusing than I thought.”

 

“That honestly sounds ridiculous. They do know you have a dick right? Why don’t they just not go into fisting?” Charles sounds way too serious about this.

 

“Because they’re weird as fuck. It’s whatever.” Erik shrugs as if he’s referring to the weather.

 

Charles just shakes his head and takes another bit out of his burger. It was delivered here from California by his favorite german in the world, he’s not going to let it get cold. Erik seems to agree, and goes back to eating, not even bothering to get off the ground.

 

+++

 

Two burgers and some lengthy conversations about the film industry later, Charles ends up at this.

 

“If your producer somehow convinces me to turn my book into a script, what if you played the main lead?”

 

He didn’t even think about the question when it came out, just about Erik’s acting skills. He doesn’t think about how famous Erik is, or the money that’ll come with it, or anything like that. He just thought it’d be nice. He thinks Erik can sense that, and the reason why he’s actually taking time to consider the offer.

 

“I don’t have any movies immediately lined up after I wrap up the one I’m in. And I’ve read your book, the main character interests me. I don’t see any problems with it.” Erik concludes.

 

“Really?” Charles just threw it out, not expecting a real answer.

 

“Yeah. That is, if you let it become a movie in the first place.” Erik responds.

 

“I do, it’s just I don’t want the heart of the story to become ruined by writers who just want to focus on the gay romance. Sure it’s in there, and it’s part of my character’s learning to accept his past and himself, but it’s not the main point. I feel like if I let others rewrite my work, it’ll just get ruined, and not come out with what I want it to represent.” Charles could continue about this topic for days, but that’s enough for now.

 

“That’s true. If you let some second rate pushover writer who just does his job for the money it’ll definitely end up like some gay rom com.” Erik agrees. “If I get Emma, the producer, who also happens to be my friend, to make you just only writer, would you do it?”

 

“Yea, I would. I have other works I’ve been meaning to get to, but I’ve been in a slump lately and going over my first novel would and rewriting it into another form would really help. I don’t exactly have deadlines either, since I was practically self published, and have no concrete concept to begin with.” 

 

Erik absorbs what Charles has just said and gives a nod in return. “I’ll talk to Emma. I think she’ll understand why you’re pushing for being the only writer after hearing that.”

 

“Thank you.” Charles replies.

 

“No problem. Besides, you never got to grate cheese on my ass.” Erik snickers as he looks over at the wall clock. “It’s been two hours already? I think I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

 

“You’re always welcome into my heart.” Charles jokes. “Of my home, of course.”

 

Where has all the anxiety over meeting his idol gone? It’s like he’s just having another conversation with one of his old friends now, and nothing like when he first opened the door. Honestly, it’s refreshing to see Erik in this new light. Now Charles knows the personality he has on talk shows and interviews are just a part of the full Erik, which is even better than the one on screen. 

 

“How kind of you Charles.” Erik smiles back, nothing like his signature sneer given to idiotic reporters and the like. Cute. “But Emma will have my head on a stake if I don’t return to my shoot soon, and she probably wanted me back an hour ago. I think she’ll forgive me though, after finding out just how well we got along.” He winks.

 

Charles walks Erik back to the front door, the sky noticeably darker than before. Charles didn’t even notice how fast the time flew by. He unlocks his door and opens it for Erik.

 

“I hope for the sake of your safety that you’re right.’ Charles gives Erik the best smile he’s got.

 

“Bye now Charles, I hope to be in your company again soon.” Gives Charles I nice, warm, hug before leaving his home. 

 

“I hope to see you again soon!” Charles half-shouts back.

 

Erik turns and gives Charles one last wave before leaving. Charles shuts his door and is happier the rest of the day than the entirety of last week.

 

+++

 

Erik speed-dials Emma to give her the news. She picks up before the first ring even happens.

 

“You’re late. A whole hour late.”

 

“Charles is nice. If you give him free reign of the script, he’ll do a good job. I can feel it.”

 

“Oh no, you have that love struck tone.” Emma groans into the phone.

 

“What do you mean?” Sure, Erik had a really good time with Charles, but there’s no way it’s anything like that.

 

“You get it whenever a cute guy or gal with a sunny smile and a quick mind catches your attention. I didn’t take into consideration Mr. Xavier’s face before whisking you off the set. Great.”

 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. When have I even been like that?”

 

“Just don’t fall in love with him too hard, ok? I need his writing skills.” Emma grumbles before hanging up.

 

Erik looks back through the two hours he spent with Charles and grins when he remembers Charles’s sunny smile before he can catch himself. Fuck, he thinks, Emma’s right.

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I've never seen a double cheeseburger or a burger with pickles at in-n-out but if it really exists i can't believe i've never ordered one  
> also, I have no idea what i'm talking about when it comes to the film industry to if you notice any obvious mistakes please tell me!
> 
> i promise i'll continue on some of my other stories later, i've just been dry on ideas recently and this was the first interesting thing that popped up in my head


End file.
